13 July 2015

Sometimes we just don’t get to choose

It has been months since my previous post. In that post, I promise to write about the result. And it is negative. It takes lot courage in me to write this. I have been thinking to write this before. I thought a lot. That is all because deep inside my heart I still refuse to accept the fact. But now, I am starting over. I want to start fresh again. Believe me, I don’t even want to look back and wanting it again. I want to move on and just be fire up with my life right now. This life is my life as it makes me happy or not, it is my life and I must endure it and find ways to be happy.

You know, whatever it is, I have tried. I tried so hard to change the fate. But, the fate remains as it is. After all, I let go. It must hurt me a lot until I give up on thing that I like since years ago. God knows how much I wanted it. Later, I know that one day in the future, I might turn back and regret. Wondering why this and that happened. Questioning what mistakes I made until this happen to me. And I know sooner I will recover and become fire up again. That is what we called, spirit. Spirit never dies.

Recovering is hard. I am in the process and it is an early stage. I stumble and I build the strength to stand again. In the moment, I change my focus for the other. I prepare myself for the challenges which I will absolutely have during my second year in university. Studying is hard. Sometimes there are things which we need to deal with people. That means I can’t stay alone. I must stand out. I must mend my weakness and stop complaining. However, I am Me. You are who you are. Sometimes, we can’t change ourselves. Whatever your personality is, that makes you become different from the other. Don’t worry.  I have my own way and let’s just follow the path because whenever the mistake happens, it is the learning process anyway.

Until then, stay strong and never lose hope. 

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